I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
