All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
