My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I wear drunk well.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
