Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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