I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
