well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
