THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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