i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
