"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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