Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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