I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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