whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
