so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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