i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
