found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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