Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
