I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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