Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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