He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
