yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
