That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
