We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
