Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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