You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
