did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
When are your genitals available?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
