i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
