I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sorry about my life...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
