that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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