You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
