Don't you send me to vm
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
