I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
