so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
