He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
