Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
