all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
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Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
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How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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