First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
there's paper in my vomit.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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