Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
