Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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