White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
