Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
