I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
