Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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