We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
