Rock
Scissors
Fuck
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
