"it" just moved
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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