She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
