im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
