Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
