I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize