So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
