i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
did i walk over a car last night?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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