out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
