my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
