You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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