You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize