On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
