How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think I sprained my soul last night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
