i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
