So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
