My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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