I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
