Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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