it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
