Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
this just has baby written all over it
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.