I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet