I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
