question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
