i don't like sucking hair
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.