I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.