Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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