i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
